I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
