How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
