She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
