sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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