it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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