the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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