I can tuck mytits in my pants
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
