singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
