I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
