would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
