Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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