would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
