i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
