Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
