I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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