Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
