Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize