garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
