I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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