I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
