try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
