Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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