I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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