i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
