Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
