The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize