he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
