Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
