He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
