I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
