btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
