That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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