So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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