There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
