wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
