We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
