well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I AM VODKA MAN
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
