It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize