She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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