he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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