id be glad to
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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