was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
