we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize