people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
