to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
