a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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