All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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