so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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