2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I love you.
Bad choice
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
