a queef is a wish your heart makes.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
