PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
