you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
