Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I love having hate sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
