Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you would pick up someone in the library
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
