we have pet lesbian snakes
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The cops high fived after they tackled you
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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