I can tuck mytits in my pants
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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