it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize