remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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