this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Panties = found
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