Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
