Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
