isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
