Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize