You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
