I'm really into asian looking animals
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
