farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
