I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
