oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
