omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
