what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
