never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
