this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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