I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
