You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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