good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
